Instead, this is the tale of one plastic grasshopper.
It all began like any other normal chaotic day - 2 year old boy wakes up at the crack of dawn with some putrid smelling nasty in his diaper and proceeds to climb out of his crib (which he is not supposed to be doing) and then climbs into my bed via my head as a launch pad for the center of the bed where it's nice and cozy. My eyes burn and nose wrinkles, so I'm up quickly to change the nasti-ness diaper. Then, big yellow dog wants outside - it's barely light out, I haven't had my coffee, and my glasses are knocked down onto the floor someplace that will be perfectly positioned for my foot to crunch- probably from the boy climbing onto my head earlier. Kids get breakfast, girl is off to school, boy wants breakfast again while I'm getting myself something to eat, I eat - with the boy, again, because he wants whatever I'm having - I drink a gallon of coffee, read my blogs, do laundry, take boy for walk.....blah, blah, blah.
Lunch time rolls around - my boy wants dinosaur chicken nuggets with Ranch dressing to "dip". "Dipping" is the key word - anything that can be dipped in Ranch is always better! Including little plastic green grasshoppers! It's especially fun to swim them around in it on the kiddy sized table - right at the doggie's nose level. Well, when a plastic green grasshopper is disguised in Ranch dressing - he looks mighty tasty to a yellow lab. Next thing I know, Mr. Grasshopper is gone and my doggie is licking his lips and my boy is crying for his grasshopper.
I pried is big ole chompers open and see nothing, bug is gone......so I called the vet and he tells me to give him Hydrogen Peroxide and some bread in order to make the bug come up the shoot instead of down the shoot. After two doses and some waiting around....success!
I did have to poke around in the puke with a stick to find mr. grassy hopper, but sure enough, there he was - all yucky, but a beautiful thing~
I was picturing taking my dog to the vet and having them surgically remove the bug at the tune of a few grand$$$$$.
Grasshopper is recused, boy is happy, dog is well, and now nap time!!
Lesson learned - Hydrogen Peroxide will make your dog throw up and Ranch dressing really does make anything taste better - oh, and dogs are best put outside before lunch time.